1) im going back to my initial name, Jacob. So, well... so long Jared! I am Jacob now... if only switching identities in real life was as easy as that!
2) are u likin' the color scheme ive chosen for this blog? you do, right? i kinda' do, i think its nice :P
Monday, November 7, 2011
waiting for the pops
dad, aka the pops, has been visiting the country for about 3 weeks now.
but his flight is tonight, he's returning to the states.
he and his wife bought an apartment. during this visit ive seen him about 6 times.
now its the 7th time... at a cafe -
he likes to eat.
i think he thinks im hungry.
but im not, i just dont have an appetite.
i havent had an appetite for about 2 years now.
when we meet i see it in his eyes, he worries for me. but there are words we do not speak; or, rather, words i do not speak.
in his eyes i see worry, and it hurts me to see that.
because i dont want him to worry, i dont want him to know the depth of the problems
because "dad cant fix it all"
sometimes i wish i can go back to being a kid. but i cant.
so tonight my goal is to make him feel better, to try to make him "not worry" this way when he leaves he doesn't carry that baggage...
but his flight is tonight, he's returning to the states.
he and his wife bought an apartment. during this visit ive seen him about 6 times.
now its the 7th time... at a cafe -
he likes to eat.
i think he thinks im hungry.
but im not, i just dont have an appetite.
i havent had an appetite for about 2 years now.
when we meet i see it in his eyes, he worries for me. but there are words we do not speak; or, rather, words i do not speak.
in his eyes i see worry, and it hurts me to see that.
because i dont want him to worry, i dont want him to know the depth of the problems
because "dad cant fix it all"
sometimes i wish i can go back to being a kid. but i cant.
so tonight my goal is to make him feel better, to try to make him "not worry" this way when he leaves he doesn't carry that baggage...
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